Working My Way Back

Date 7/17   Posted 7/19

I left Sumbawanga this morning with mixed feelings. I was glad the time was up. I miss my home, my family and my life. I don’t think I am one of those people who are cut out for long term missionary work. Yet there is such a satisfaction in doing what no one else can or will do and watching the positive results; usually positive, except in the instances I have reported. Grace, Robert and I literally took over the hospital. Medical rounds have never been there with western intention and thoroughness and I have never had the extra eyes, ears and hands to facilitate my work.

We helped a lot of people and more importantly set an example to which the staff there can aspire. Did they all get it? Of course not, but if just a few can set change into motion the difficult and frustrating work will have been well worth it. Yes, there were more horror stories but I’ll spare you any further descriptions.

Robert is still there and will be for several months. Not only did we leave but his girlfriend, Marjon, will soon return to Holland. I’m a little worried about him being there alone. He takes his work very seriously and does not deal well with frustration. I’ve asked Jasper to keep an eye on him and try to smooth his way.

Speaking of Jasper, yes, we are still friends. He did go far out of his way to make things right after his return. I understand now that he was caught in a bureaucratic bind and it would have been unwise for him not to attend the conference. Those sort of administrative meetings there tend to be called on short notice and his boss really wanted him there. Jasper is eventually going to decide if he wants to be an effective medical director and surgeon or an administrator. Right now he has one foot in each camp and cannot deliver the kind of care of which he is capable.

Tonight Grace and I are in Mbeya courtesy of a 180 mile hospital Landcrusier ride on a road you don’t even want to think about. We're wondering if we will decide to return to Tanzania. I believe she has had a really good first experience in the third world, understands the need, and has found that she can be effective. We’ve talked about bringing some of our students next year and perhaps other physicians and surgeons. This could grow to be something big. As for me, I’m not getting any younger and am feeling a bit burned out right now.  But the human mind has a wonderful capacity for allowing us to forget discomfort or pain so I expect that by January, when life has again become routine and it’s time to start planning the trip again, I’ll probably be on board. So many good writers have described the way this continent really gets into peoples’ psyches and draws them in. It’s so true.

We’ll kick around Mbeya tomorrow visiting the markets and I’ll try to again photograph the enormous outdoor Sunday mass down the street from the hotel. Later I’ll seek out the little orphan girl, Prisca, that I met during my first visit. Then it’s the bus ride from hell to Dar es Salaam

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[Sarah Fleetwood]

G-d speed home and bless you.